The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
