I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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