did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
