I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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