ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize