I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
