Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
