She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
