So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
