Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
