FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
