I hate all girls vehemently.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
