You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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