Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
