Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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