I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize