I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
