ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
