And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
