the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Couch. On fire.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
