ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
