My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Two words: nipple clamps
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