a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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