Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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