You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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