I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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