my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
