I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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