So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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