I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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