Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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