Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
