DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
