Redeem this text for a blowjob
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
vagina is talking i cant
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
