You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
