oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
