Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
