Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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