please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
