Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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