I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
