I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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