saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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