If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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