I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
