I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
