you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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