I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
