so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
