I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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