i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
