OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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