The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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