he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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