You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
