sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
