Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
