just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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