Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
last night I used snow as a chaser
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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