Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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