yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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