No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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