I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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