Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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