Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
