eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
