Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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