After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
