you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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