I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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