Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
