what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
