I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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